I am a runner

I was a healthy and active kid, born into a pretty good gene pool. When you are young no one really thinks about running and it's not really hard, mainly playing tag on the playground or playing basketball with friends or running to be first in line for ice cream. In high school, some girls were interested in running cross country but at the time I had no desire to run unless I was being chased. It wasn't until after my first daughter was born that I started to entertain the idea. I'll get back to that, but first, a little history.

 Like I said, I was a relatively healthy, active kid blessed with good genes. It was my sophomore year in college when I was involved in an unfortunate car accident and sustained serious injuries such as broken ribs, a broken femur, a crushed lung and a punctured lung, concussion and a damaged spleen and that's just to name a few. This happened a long time ago when I was young and though I recovered, I never felt like I was ever fully rehabilitated so I occasionally found myself favoring my left hip with a lovely limp. Though I had some minor chronic pain on my left side, I was still active  occasionally attending step aerobic classes or walking on the treadmill or getting on the elliptical machine but never  pushing myself in any real way.

 Years went by and I married my sweet husband, Kevin, and like I said earlier, running had never crossed my mind until after our first daughter was born, over 14 years ago. I wanted the baby weight off really bad and with limited funds in our budget for a gym membership (and my extreme fear of germs and the gym nursery), running in the neighborhood seemed like the best way to lose that baby fat. Ha! Not as easy as it sounds, I got out there and realized that I had no idea how to really run and after 60 seconds I thought my side would burst and my lungs would explode and there was no way that bum hip was gonna make it! After a week of trying, I totally gave up and decided it wasn't worth it, maybe I just wasn't built for running.

 More years went by and more babies were had, two more to be exact. The desire to run never really left me but in between sleepless nights and nursing babies, changing countless diapers and mountains of laundry, dinners to be prepared and cleaned up there just never seemed like enough time and there was still that voice in my head telling me " you're just not a runner". Our budget eventually allowed for a gym membership again and after three babies I got over the whole germaphobe thing, again I was taking classes and wearing out the elliptical machine but my desire to run was growing stronger all the time but I now knew if I wanted to run, I couldn't do it alone.

Everything changed in early fall of 2008 when one of my closest friends, Kelly (yes, we have the same name), was diagnosed with cancer,  the prognosis was grim. There were 114 short days from her diagnosis to death and the most profound 114 day of my life. Kelly was buried on January 6, 2009. Someday I intend to post more about my sweet friend Kelly and what she taught me about loyalty, honesty and courage but right now I just have to get from point A to point B and it is important you know that Kelly was a very big part of my journey. I was so overcome with grief and I didn't think I would ever stop being sad and that started to take a toll on my family.

At some point, my sweet and frustrated husband suggested I find something else to focus on for a while, I needed a project and I was shocked how quickly a list spilled out of me. I wanted to remodel the kitchen, learn to run and do more traveling with my kids. Now, if you have been following OAK House for a while, you know this blog is all about the big and on-going remodel and our quest to keep a simple home life. Starting the remodel was the first step towards living life again. I also set out to run again but I think my insecurities and fear of failure kept me from truly seeking out the right kind of help. Finally, on Christmas Eve of 2009 my cousin, Stacie, suggested that we train to run Dallas White Rock half marathon on December 4, 2010. With no hesitation and a couple glasses of wine I said "sign me up". That gave me a little less than a year to go from 0 to 13.1 miles, something told me that this was it, my time had come and I could not fail, I like to think that something was Kelly.

This is why it's better if I work out at the gym and not at home.

It was a year after Kelly passed away that I got serious about training for my half marathon,  that included finding a personal trainer to whip me into shape and hold me accountable, finding Michelle Discavage, was the single best thing I did in all. In the beginning, we mainly focused on getting the left side of my body to catch up with the right side. We met twice a week for ten months for strength and cross training, we talked about shoes and diet and goals and husbands and children and blogging and we laughed alot and I cried a reasonable amount. When I wasn't training in the gym with Michelle, I was hitting the pavement on my own, one slow mile at a time and overcoming aches and pains that I thought were going to end my short running career. I entered some local races to get a feel for running with people because up to October I had only run alone. On December 4, 2010, one day after my 35th bithday,  I ran 13.1 miles in 2 hours and 17 minutes.

Everyone has their own story and this one is mine, we all love, lose and struggle in life, it's what we do with that love, loss and struggle that matters most. Why haven't I posted my story until now? Three reasons: 1. I recently read and was inspired by Mama Laughlin's amazing blog, though our stories are different, I thought, if she can totally put herself out there, so can I.  2. The truth is embarrassing. Embarrassing because I wasted all those years fearing failure. Embarrassing because while 90% of people I know have an athletic accomplishment under their belt or at least one medal or trophy from their 'glory' days, I had not one until I turned 35 years old, this truth both embarrasses me and makes me proud at the same time.  3. And finally, if you have been following OAK House for a sometime now you'll recall the three month food series I started last October where I posted all of my family recipes from my childhood. Well, apparently, I did alot more cooking and eating than I did running and it shows. In fact I now have eight more pounds to lose to get back down to my best weight. Currently I'm hitting the gym pretty hard and still working out with my trainer and friend, Michelle, I'm also running at least three days a week and (best part) I can still pick up a five mile run on pretty much any given day... and I'm making much better time these days. Yes, I am a runner.

Ummmmmm....remind me to take a photo before the race next time.

* a side note: Because I have three daughters and I am concerned about unhealthy body image, I made sure to refrain from using words like "fat" or "skinny" or throwing around 'mommy needs to lose weight cuz she's a fatty'. I did discreetly monitor my weight loss but wanted the girls to understand it's all about living healthy and not aiming for unrealistic body type.